I'm owning it.

So if you couldn't tell from yesterday, I am currently obsessing over Rachel's blog.  She pretty much puts into words everything that I want to say but am too much of a people-pleaser to actually verbalize.

Well, that ends today.

Today I am deciding to lay it out there and OWN IT.  Own my decisions, own my actions, own my thoughts, own my looks, own my words.

So here is what I'm owning today:

• I have had a really hard time getting back on track with Weight Watchers since we went to Hawaii and have gained a little weight.  I own it.  I'm going to change it.  I'm over it.  You should be too.
• I love watching weight loss shows even though they're unrealistic.  They're entertaining.  I own it.
• I may be overweight, but I'm pretty... smoking hot.  I own it.
• I desperately want people to read my blog because I think they should like it as much as I do.  It's probably selfish.  I own it.
• I'm not very good at grammar or using the correct verb tense.  I own it.

And you know what else?  I've spent my ENTIRE life trying to please people.  Seriously.  But I'm done with that.  I really don't need to worry about pleasing anyone but myself and God (Hubz gets included in this as well since we are One now... or at least are trying to be).  As long as I am doing that, everything else will fall into place.  Because you know what?  Feeling bad and feeling guilty and feeling sorry has just drug my self-confidence and enjoyment of life way down, and I'm not digging that.  I'm not digging that at all.  Thus, I'm also here to tell you... Sorry I'm Not Sorry:

•  Sometimes I have a drink.  Every now and then on a Saturday evening I enjoy a good brew (the darker the better) and can still go to church on Sunday morning with a clean conscious.  I don't think it makes me (or anyone else for that matter) a hypocrite or a lousy Christian as long as I do it in a responsible and healthy way.  Pretty much as long as I can control myself and I don't drink more than I should (which is normally only one glass for me... I'm only 5'3.  A fantastic 5'3 at that.  I own it).  Which I can and I don't, respectively.  Sorry I'm Not Sorry.
• It drives me nuts when really well-known bloggers continually have spelling and typing errors on their posts.  Re-read it.  It doesn't take that long.  Sorry I'm Not Sorry.
• I got married when I was 21 years old because I was in love and wanted to be with Hubz forever and ever.  Yes, we're young.  Yes, we're broke.  We got married when we did because it was the right time for us.  A good amount of people didn't (and don't) agree with us getting married because of our age and our lack of level of responsibility.  What do I say to them?  Worry about your own life and your own decisions for a while and let us make some mistakes together and grow-up together.  Sorry I'm Not Sorry.
• I'm choosing to chase my dreams at this time in my life.  If that means that I don't have enough money to buy organic spinach, then I will just have to gnaw on pesticides for a while.  If that means that I get guilt-trips from other people, you'll just get to see more lovely posts like this.  If it means I need to use my credit cards a little too much, we'll pile that on top of the student loans.  But if not taking a risk now means that I never do, I'll always wonder what could have been.  And that's why I turned in my two-weeks notice today.  Sorry I'm Not Sorry.

Tomorrow Keeping Up With Kayla will be light and fun and adventurous again... I just needed to get that off my chest today.  I've got a little baggage... I own it.  And no, I'm Not Sorry.

K.

P.S. Thanks to Rachel Wilkerson for helping me realize that I've been feeling way too guilty for my own good recently.